Video:Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

Transcript:Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

Hi. I’m Irina Firstein. I’m a couples therapist n New York City and I’m here for About.com. I’m going to explain the warning signs of an emotional affair.

Emotional Affairs Do Not Include Sex

In my mind, the difference between an emotional affair and a regular affair is that in an emotional affair there is no sex.But, emotionally and mentally, You’re basically going out of your marriage to satisfy very important emotional needs. That should be dealt with within your marriage.That’s not to say that there isn’t such a thing as healthy flirting.But the difference here is the preoccupation, the amount of energy and mental thinking and you know, that is spent, thinking and fantasizing about this person and wanting to be with this person.

Increased Distance is a Sign of an Emotional Affair

One of the telltale signs of an emotional affair is increased distance and break in connection. In fact, I think that most of the time these things happen is because there’s already an issue with a connection between two people. So that one of them or both of them are looking to have some needs met outside of the relationship.The symptoms of an emotional affair are not different, really, from symptoms of any other affair. Your partner is not as attentive. They’re looking for reasons to not be with you. They are coming home later more and more frequently. A preoccupation with phones, black berries, at odd times, and also secretiveness about these devices is a pretty pretty good indicator that there may be something going on.

Often times when confronted there is a defensiveness and of course, denial, that there is anything wrong.But, basically, if your partner is not there with you and you have a feeling that there is something not right. I would go with that feeling. I would investigate that.

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