Video:Tips for Getting Along With In-Laws
with Dr. Dale AtkinsIn-law relationships can be complicated and difficult to navigate. Here are simple ideas about how to achieve a satisfactory in-law relationship, for the sake of your marriage.
Transcript:Tips for Getting Along With In-Laws
Hi, I'm Dr. Dale Atkins. I'm a psychologist and I'm here for About.com. What's important about in-law relationships is to really try to build a caring, loving and respectful in-law relationship. I have some thoughts about how to do that.
Find Out What In-Law's Expectations Are
What are the expectations that your in-laws have of you? Are you supposed to call them every week? Are you supposed to talk to them whenever they call your husband or your wife? Are you supposed to be going out to dinner? What is it that they expect of you? Until you know what the expectations are, you won't be able to know if you can meet them. Get to know who they are. Get to know what they love. What did they do before they were your in-laws? And what other aspects of their life make them who they are.
Be Understanding of In-Laws
Communicate caring and love. Remember, these are the people who raised the person you love. You may not like everything about them but what's important is that you try and communicate with them in a respectful and caring way. Don't meddle. If you're not invited into a conversation or an aspect of your in-law's life, don't think the gate is open and just walk through. You may share so many things, but try not to meddle and offer opinions when you're not asked. One of the things that is difficult for in-laws to understand is, particularly for a mother-in-law, that she may not be the number one person in her son or her daughter's life, you are. But it takes time. You're not going to change them, but what's helpful to your marriage and what's helpful to all of the relationships is to not judge them. Accept them as they are.
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