Video:Tips for Dealing With Sexual Problems in a Marriage
with Rachel SussmanDealing with sexual problems in a marriage may be difficult but it is something couples need to be willing to communicate about. Learn some tips for discussing sexual issues in your marriage to build a stronger relationship.See Transcript
Transcript:Tips for Dealing With Sexual Problems in a Marriage
Hi. I’m Rachel Sussman. I’m a licensed therapist and a relationship expert and I’m here for About.com. I’m going to give you some tips for dealing with sexual problems in your marriage.Communicate to Your Spouse About Sexual Problems
The biggest obstacle that I’ve found, with couples with sexual problems is that they have a very hard time communicating about it. I think that a lot of couples feel like they should just be naturally having great sex and, you know, sex changes, it waxes and wanes throughout the years in a marriage. The couples that have great sex tell me that they’re comfortable communicating about it. And that means complimenting and asking for something different. But it might also mean having a frank discussion about something that’s not working.Get Rid of Distractions when Discussing Sexual Problems in the Marriage
The first tip I’d like to give you is think before you speak. You’ve made a decision that you want to talk to your partner about something that’s going on in the bedroom. Think it through. What do you want to say? How do you want it to play out? And be sure to say it in a respectful solution focus tone.My second tip is that timing is very important when it comes to talking about sex. The best way to go about getting into a conversation about sex is finding a quiet time where you’re both relaxed with very few distractions and just honestly saying how you feel but remember to be kind and watch your tone.
A great way to keep the conversation going in the right direction is to compliment your partner. You could say we have such a great relationship in so many aspects. You’re so wonderful with this or that. But this is something that I’d like us to work on together. And, it will only help us have a better sex life, once we solve this problem.
After that listen to your partner’s response and be sure to validate his or hers perspective.At the end of the conversation take some time to congratulate yourselves on a job well done. You’ve effectively communicated your sexual problem and that can be a model to use in all other areas of your relationship.
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