Video:Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Transcript:Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Hi, I’m Dale Atkins, I’m a psychologist and I’m here for About.com.

Sometimes people are so involved with the love and the romance and the planning of the wedding that they forget to sit down and talk with their intended about issues that are really important, and there are certain questions that are really helpful to ask the person you are going to marry.

Ask Questions About Plans for Children

Do you want to have children? How many children do you want? Do you want them to go to private school? Do you believe in public school? Who’s going to take care of them? Questions about parenting, questions about babysitting, questions about all kinds of things that have to do with children.

Organize Finances Before Getting Married

Are you used to saving? Are you used to spending? Who makes decisions about investing and which charities you’re going to give to and how much you spend and how much you save? It’s very important that you talk to your intended about whether or not it’s a good idea to share a bank account or whether you’re going to have separate accounts. Do you talk about big purchases, do you talk about small purchases. Are you someone who hides things because you don’t want them to know that you’re buying things and it’s maybe a bit too expensive? Talking about finances and asking questions about finances and money is a very important thing to get out and air before you get married.

Discuss Household Responsibilities Before Getting Married

Who’s cleaning the toilet? And who’s cooking? And who’s doing the shopping? And the responsibilities that you may only have time to do on the weekends? Because it is going to affect how you spend your time together and whether or not one of you becomes resentful if you’re doing too much of the housework.

Ask Questions About Your Sexual Life

One of the things that’s very difficult for people to talk about is their sexual lives, and I think what’s important is to find a way to communicate because once you’re married to someone your sexual life will change, it will grow and evolve, and if you’re not comfortable talking about it before you’re married it will be difficult to develop a level of comfort, so be sure you try and ask the right questions.

If you’d like to learn more about having a healthy marriage, please visit About.com.