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Video:How to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

with Irina Firstein

Learn how to keep romance alive after the honeymoon so that your marriage stays strong and loving as the years go on. Here are some tips for how to keep romance alive after the honeymoon.See Transcript

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Transcript:How to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

Hi, I'm Irina Firstein. I'm a couples therapist in New York City and I'm here for About.com. I'm going to give you some tips on how to keep your romance alive in your marriage.

Adjust Expectations to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

The most important thing that couples need to understand is that it's not reasonable to think that your relationship is going to stay the same. Relationships change, they evolve, they go through ups and downs. They go through good phases and bad phases.

The number one thing is really to adjust expectations of what is realistic to expect as the marriage unfolds. It's always very helpful, I ask my couples to think about how they treated each other when they first met: how interested they were in sharing what the other person had to say, how interested they were in that person and their day to day experiences.

Ask Questions to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

Unfortunately, as time goes and you feel like you really know the person you don't ask questions, you don't show as much interest. Life and other things take over. And that's kind of deadly to a relationship. There's no unconditional love between a man and a woman. It doesn't exist. It has to be nurtured; it has to be thought it about. It has to be nourished. It doesn't just happen because you're married and you decide that you're going to be with this person for the rest of your life.

Avoid Routines to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

One of the very important things that happens very early on the relationship, that somehow, tends to dwindle down as the couple is together for along time. There's no surprise. Routine is death. So, it's very important to keep in mind that there has to be an element of surprise. That really energizes and excites things between two people.

Continue a Sexual Connection to Keep Romance Alive After the Honeymoon

It's also very important to remember that when you first met you had a lot of sex. And as marriage goes on, as other things come into your life, it may not necessarily be as frequent or always as exciting as it was in the beginning but it's a very important thing to continue a sexual connection.

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