1. Dating & Relationships

Video:Guide to Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages

with Jane Fendelman

Love can be displayed and given in tons of different ways. Learn what your love language is in this psychology video from About.com that delves into Gary Chapman's 5 love languages.See Transcript

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Transcript:Guide to Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages

Hi, I'm Jane Fendelman for About.com.  I'm here with your guide to Gary Chapman's 5 love languages.  

What are Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages?

Different people like to receive love in different ways, and the five love languages helps you to identify how best to give love to those beloved's around you, whether it's in your marriage or your parenting relationships, or your friends and family.  

First there's words of affirmation, then there's quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are accomplishments, acknowledgements, recognizing somebody for doing something well or doing something nice for you.  Recognizing a person for contributing to the relationship in a myriad of ways.

Love Language: Quality Time 

The next love language is quality time.  This means fullness of presence.  Some people just want time with you.  

They don't mind if it means laying on the couch and cuddling while you're watching a movie, or going out to play tennis together, or just sitting across a romantic dinner, eye-gazing at one another.  Quality time is most important for those people, and some people like a greater intensity of connection where you're not busy doing something, but you're just sitting talking quietly together.  

Love Language: Gifts

Then there's "gifts."  Some people's love language is receiving gifts, and they'll go over the moon, and their heart will light up if you give them something wonderful like a little diamond necklace, or a tennis bracelet, or a box of chocolate or even a bouquet of flowers.  Even a hand made card will make their hearts soar.  

Love Language: Service 

For the love language of service, these people love when you do things for them.  Get them a glass of water, tie their shoes for them, give them a back rub.  Acts of service are what fill up their hearts.

 

Love Language: Physical Touch

And finally, there's physical touch.  If someone you love has physical touch as their love language they're going to appreciate lots of hugs and kisses and cuddling, a pat on the shoulder, a hand on the shoulder, a pat on the knee.  If you're driving along in the car hold their hand.  So if your beloved has physical touch as their love language, remember to give them lots of hugs.

How Do You Determine What Your Love Language Is?

How do you determine what your love language is?  First, take a look at how you find yourself giving love to others.  Say for instance you find yourself performing acts of service or giving compliments, it's likely that that's your love language and it would be good to find out if it's their's too. 

Another way that you can find out what your love language is, is taking a look at what you complain about in your close relationships.   If you're complaining that you're not getting enough complements or enough cuddles, that gives you a clue about what your love languages are.  Then you can ask for what you want and hopefully your beloved will be willing to give you them.  

Thanks so much for watching and if you'd like to learn more visit us on the web at About.com.

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