Video:Common Sexual Problems in Marriages

Transcript:Common Sexual Problems in Marriages

Hi, I'm Irina Firstein, I'm a couple's therapist in New York City and I'm here for About.com. I'm going to tell you about common sexual problems in a marriage.

Sex in a marriage is the thing that distinguishes that relationship from all other relationships. It's the energy that energizes and brings you together in a very special way. That doesn't happen in any other relationship in your life.

Lack of Desire Is a Common Sexual Problem in Marriages

Common problems with sex in a marriage, basically, is lack of desire on both parts or one partner. Part of that is sexual dysfunction in either partner. The typical male dysfunctions are erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation, delayed orgasm, and then of course, low desire.

Then there are psychological reasons. Psychological slash medical. Heart Problems, Diabetes, that can cause dysfunction. There is depression, anxiety. There is such a thing as performance anxiety which is usually part of the underlying factor for erectile dysfunctions or premature ejaculation.

Work or Relational Causes Are Common Sexual Problems in Marriages

There is extreme fatigue or obsession with work or something else. Another major cause for medical and psychological is alcohol and drug abuse. And then there are relational causes: difficulties within the relationship, like power and control issues, pursuer/distancer dynamics.

Causes for Sexual Problems in Marriages for Women

The causes of low sex drive for women have three different dimensions. The first thing I look at is her sexual functioning. Is she orgasmic? I'm looking for sexual dysfunction, inability to have an orgasm, difficulties with lubrication which leads to painful intercourse.

Boredom Is Also a Common Sexual Problem in Marriages

There is also sexual boredom that sometimes occurs, when there is not any energy given to that part of a relationship. We also now live in a world where one or both parents have a very demanding job. Demand of kids, all take away from a sexual connection between a husband and wife.

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