Video:Tips to Approach Someonewith Jonathon E. Stewart
Approaching someone doesn't need to start with a pick up line. Check out these video tips for breaking the ice and getting a date. After all, you'll never get a date if you don't at least try to approach someone your interested in.See Transcript
Transcript:Tips to Approach Someone
The idea of approaching someone you don't know can be more than a little terrifying, especially if you don't have a lot of experience with it. But being confident, and being yourself, can make all the difference. Hey guys - Jonathon Stewart here for About.com. Coffee shops, subway stations, dog parks, grocery stores, you name it, there are potential dating prospects everywhere you go. So, take a look at the following tips, and you'll find there's a whole new world out there awaiting you. Check it out.
Approach Someone with Confidence
The absolute, number one key to approaching someone is having confidence in yourself. Remember that whoever you're approaching is no better or worse than you, just another person. Relax, smile, and have every expectation that your encounter will be a successful one. Just don't mix confidence with arrogance. There is a line a mile wide between self-assured cool, and big fat jerk.
Avoid Pick Up Lines
The actual words you use when approaching someone really aren't that important. All you need to do is get the ball rolling. Try looking to your environment for cues--commenting about decor, or other people, or even the weather can be enough to strike up a simple conversation. The more observant you are of everything around you, the easier this will be. Just be sure to avoid corny or rehearsed pickup lines at all costs.
Some of the world's greatest romances have started with simple comments like, "Could you pass the salt?" "Is this train heading to Brooklyn?" or "The organic butter lettuce beats the Swiss chard every day of the week and twice on Sunday." Once the ice is broken, stay in the moment.
Listen and Pay Attention
Listen to what the other person is saying, and pay close attention to body language. Mirroring the other person's movements may convey interest or help to put them at ease. Maintain frequent, but not constant eye contact, and don't linger for long if the conversation starts to dwindle.This is where is so important just to be present. If anything feels forced or weird, don't be afraid to rip cord out of there. Likewise, if it is going well, be sure make a plan for next time.
Establish a Date
Once again, assertiveness is essential. Ask if the person would like to grab a cup of coffee or a bite to eat sometime, and you will likely get yourself a phone number or email address, which you should use within a couple days while the encounter is still fresh. If not, don't hesitate to ask how you can reach your potential new date--and remember that the person you approach just might be as nervous as you are.
So, it all boils down to this--if you just try your hand at approaching someone, the worst you can do is feel a little silly or embarrassed if the person's not interested. But if you never even try, it's an absolute guarantee you won't succeed. So get out there, go get 'em. You just might surprise yourself. Thanks for watching--to learn more, visit us on the web at About.com.